I've decided!

I've decided that it's really hopeless..about liking someone over the internet. I should stop it and get myself a life. Well what i mean is just go with my own self again like reading the manga, watching anime and do my usual stuff. But me liking him should stop. I really should stop. Coz' I was just wasting my time and It won't get us anywhere. Well I just wanted to thank him for making me experience once again how to love and making me realize to gave up on fantasies. Thanks to you. lol..xD I really am going to grow old all alone. well I don't care anymore as long as on my days living al alone at least I can help others and making them smile is enough for me.

i've been thinking.. T.T

I've been having blogs and stored in my pc.. I don't want to post it here coz' i know someone out there might be stalking this blog..lol..xD paranoid neh? anyways i've been blogging lately and been ranting about me and him about my life and so and so... but last night i've been able to watched the news about the tragedy happened here. Were 850+ passengers and only 50+ were alive and that's just a tentative numbers i still don't know how many dead bodies were recovered. Yes, I was talking about the ship wreck that happened in Romblon. It was destroyed due to the typhoon "Frank". Last night just gave me the creeps when one reporter was diving and going to report about the tragedy and while they were shooting below a foot of a dead passenger was taken. When seeing the report about the tragedy I really felt sad and wanted to cry if i was able to watch the news more. So I just went upstairs and just did some manga reading. But now I realize ranting on my own problem when everyone is still crying and still hoping that their beloved ones was still alive or at least they found the body. I really feel sorry for the people who have lost someone dear to them so suddenly. I was being selfish so selfish that I keep on thinking about myself while some people are still suffering. :(

Dear God, sorry for me being so selfish. Please guide the people who are still looking for their loved ones. Please make them strong to face this tragic situation. For the others who were at the tragedy let them help find the light and peace. Amen.

very nice sunny day...^^

I dunno why but this morning when I was about going to work I know it's gonna be a same old boring normal day. But this time I felt different. While I was going to work the sun seems different. Though it's kinda sunny i think the sun is smiling at everyone...^^ I just feel that the sun is happy and everything is gonna be alright. I know it's kinda weird but I just felt it that way... I wish it will become a nice happy sunny day for all the people here on earth.^^

PS. Thank you God for giving this bright beautiful day to us!

i don't feel great..T.T

I don't feel great since I'm not feeling well, i'm sick, i'm tired and probably get bored in a while. I've been day dreaming for a week now since i get to "flirt" or open up my feelings to him. He understood and he explain his feelings and clear up some messy questions i had for him. I dunno if his honest or telling the truth i just feel he is. One thing's clear his relationship to the girl that I know she likes is just hobby relationship since they like the same hobby and somehow it's different from me. He admits that he's been thinking of me before i confess to him. I just wondered then why then he doesn't confess and wait for me...=.= So there cleared.... and i've been thinking of him the whole week and smile for no reason... geez.... So now I get to chat to him again... but it's a normal chat nothing to smile for no reason... Now i'm thinking if i'm slowly getting over him. Since he knew and nothing to shiver anymore. We're like chatting as friends and no one knows what will happen in the future since where in the getting to know stage and the probability of us seeing each other is 1% not unless if he's really interested in me then he must find ways to get to know me. So it's gonna be like everyday routine... where just having fun with each other and no one knows what will happen. But it's gonna be good if he's gonna look for a wife coz' he's old and needs someone to take care of him. I dunno if i'm gonna be hurt or any maybe a little but since he's my friend i'll be happier if i know he's happy.^^

so many things happened...^^

well so many things happened since i last blogged..^^
I've been hooked up with manga and i'm currently reading one. It's Densha Otoko and somehow I can relate with his story. The next things is I've been chatting with some of my e-friends and never logged on to my filipino forums. I dunno why but maybe because I got bored to them easily. Next is I got an e-husband and the last thing is I confessed to someone that I liked him.

I'll be concentrating more on the last sentence. So there I confessed to someone that I like him. Though I didn't expect he would be very happy about it or he would talked to me again. Coz' the last time I confessed was after two weeks he never talked to me and he never get online. He is so in a hurry to grow up that's why maybe he's engaged into adult things and I don't care at all. So there I told him, actually i don't have plans to tell him but since I don't to feel regrets that's why I told him. I have no intentions or hoping he feels the same way. Coz' I know he like someone now. Though he still somehow flirts. and he almost told me in the middle of his sentence that he likes me too. but good thing that the other girl and me were in different place or else he'll be in trouble..lol...xD I really dunno if it's a good or bad thing but I'm so glad he told me in between those lines that he also like me. I'm really happy every time he tells me that he can't take off those smiles in him. Coz' I make him a permanent smile always. To tell you the truth he really makes me smile and I always looks forward everyday or hoping it will be morning so that I could have a nice chat w/ him. *sigh* I hope we can also have a long nice chat some other time...^^

sigh...T.T

Well I'm kinda feel a looser or something. Well I know I'm not supposed to feel this way and I don't blame anyone. I just wanna feel like this right now. *sigh*
Well it's like this, I just congratulated two people in one day for having a promotion in the forum as gfx members. Well good for them I think they really deserve it coz' they really have a nice creation of siggys and everything. Though they're attitude is somehow rude but they still get the position. And I know you're wondering so what?!? well it's just that I've been long there, I also tried for an application, I am really an active member, but they stop hiring for the position that I want. If I'm gonna apply for the gfx creation my creation are not that good they still for noobs. x__x now that they are mods they surely gonna have the authority of going to private forums though I know that there's nothing much on their threads..lol

On the other hand I'm feeling kinda happy coz' i wish the mods promoted all the members as mods and they left me as just being a member. at least I have the original color of my name. lol xD kinda out of place for me but I really like the feeling of being alone somehow...^^

Many things had happened... T.T

I'm back!!! It's been a while since my last blogged. I'm not feeling good right now. I'm sick, I got a fever yesterday and now I'm feeling hungry... So where will I start?

April 3 & 4 - We had our retreat. It is really fun. I had so much fun. I feel relaxed, gain new friends, learned new things, appreciate life, reflected and had a talk with God. I really enjoy nature tripping, I like appreciating nature. As your sitting in a bench and sofa while the wind gently touches your face... aahhhhh so relaxing.... I wish I can have one more nature tripping after this whole summer ended. I also learned something about those nine kinds of angels and I thought the archangels are the strongest but they are I think the second to the last. Would you believe the St. Michael was in that group?!? and Lucifer was a Seraphim? and Seraphim was the strongest among those nine angels. I couldn't believe at first. I wonder what book will be the story of the angels are? I wanted to read it.

April 5 - If I remember it right we went to GH to buy clothes. Well, we did There were nice clothes and if only I had money at that time. I also bought a bag which I wonder how much does it cost in Divisoria? I assume it was cheaper. But though it's a tiring day my feet hurts really bad, I did buy a nice hirt and a bag so it's sort of kinda worth it...lol...xD

April 6 - I thought it's gonna be a realxing day but it's not.... we went to Divisoria and buy some clothes...again... and some pants. I also bought Dad his mp3. Darn! I just spotted a kawaii guy. Well his cute at first glance but if you stare at him for a long time h isn't that cute anymore...hahaaha.... But I promise I'll be back in that shop coz' I wanna buy that mp3 kinda T mobile thing. But it's kinda expensive coz' it costs 1,900 I think...

April 7 - I know we don't have any work at this date because of April 9 event but due to memory gap I forgot what happened at that time... :(

April 8-11 - Just like April 7 due to memory gap I forgot what happened to these dates... *geez am I that really bad?!?*

April 12 - I remember that, that day was really hot. So my cousins, sister and I went to a mall planning to watch a movie but by cousin doesn't want so we ended playing in the arcades and eating. It was a fine day even though its hot.

April 13 - After going to mass, I kinda like relaxing for a bit until my cousin ask me to accompany her buy those medical supplies that she needed. *sheeeshhh... i thought i can relax..i thought i can... but not....* So we went to Bambang to buy those medical supplies and she treated me for a java frap so I'm kinda cool with that.

And now... I'm not feeling good, I don't know why but maybe because of tiredness or something... I got a headache yesterday and it really hurts that time, I went to sleep hopefully it will be gone but it didn't. So I checked my temperature and I got a fever so I drink a medicine that hopefully cures the fever and my headache and it did somehow for a bit. After a little while it hurts again so I went to the bathroom and vomited thought it hurts again until now at least it subsided for a bit. I don't know what's happening to me but I don't wanna be sick anymore...

Well i think that's all for now... Jia ne!

PS and my other blog that says We will miss you amanda... I really don't know what to say... coz' I just found out it was a joke... she faked her joke due to that April fool thing... It's not nice to joke about your own death..people thinks it's funny but she just played on peoples feelings...